Meditation

A few folks have asked for a narrative of the Vipassana meditation experience this past January. Here goes.

First off - why'd I sign up? Well, I do these retreat-like activities every few years or so. The last experience I had was in March 2007 and it was such an incredible, life altering shift. Like a tidal wave rolled through my life and washed out all kinds of ideas, assumptions and relationships with people that were keeping me from being the person I want to be - kind, generous, loving. Retreats are good for you in a hard-working way that vacations can't touch. Let me repeat: Retreats are WORK. There are other examples prior to March 2007, but that one in particular was quite powerful.

Ok, by why meditation? Yeah. That's a head scratcher to me too. This particular meditation center in Kaufman has been on my radar for years but I'd always said things like - 'I can't sit still for 10 days straight' or 'how can I possibly leave one of the projects I'm working on for 10 days' or 'no, that sounds too hard'. Stuff like that. Last August or so I was clicking around, curious about it once again and on a whim just sortof signed up. I didn't even tell Paul until the next day because I'd forgotten!

Moving forward. Upon arrival to the Center, I was struck by how nice the facilities were. Clean, warm, organized, comfortable. After a nice dinner, we took our vow of 10 day silence and went into the meditation hall for the first time. My first hour (of what would turn out to be about 100 hours) of meditation was incredibly hard. Mind over matter.

For the first three days I was bored out of my ever-loving mind. In the 6 hours I wasn't sleeping or the 10 hours I wasn't meditating, I was making strange things out of toilet paper, grass and dental floss. There were numerous manicures, facials and eyebrow plucking sessions. With no paper, pens, music, reading materials, journals etc I read every single shampoo bottle, mouth rinse and face cream I could get my hands on. I found some super glue on Day 4 and made a 'book' out of paper towels, using makeup as a medium to draw or paint with. I folded my clothes and quickly established a Mr. Rogers-like routine every time I came and went from my living quarters.

By day 7, I'd had the sort of experience people meditate for: complete dissolution of the body. I'm pretty sure people took drugs in the 60's for this same effect. There's something to it of course - lightness, love, compassion, forgiveness and all the effects of those have on real life interactions with other people. I loved going into the isolation chambers and sitting completely alone in the dark. By day 9, I was scheming on how to stay a few extra days or shuck it all and become a meditating hermit. On day 10 we broke our silence. The feeling of vibrations on my vocal chords for the first time after 10 days astonished me.

The technique itself is very simple of course. Observation of your physical body at an extremely subtle level and having no opinion about what's experienced. Watching. Watching. Watching. At subtler and subtler levels. Something unattainable in the city. Unattainable in one sitting. Something that can only be observed after unplugging completely for multiple days.

I will be going back, perhaps in a year or two. I'm sitting twice a day now, almost every day. Paul's going in August. He says I'm a little different but I don't know that I can tell. Sometimes I feel completely in synch and aware and other times I feel like the same old stuff is bothering / haunting me. This too shall pass etc.

Link: Southwest Vipassana Meditation Center. Find 10 days and go. It's profound knowledge to have about yourself. Of what your mind is truly capable of. An investment of which the return is an unprecedented calmness and peace.